[Fiction] Registered

One spring evening, I returned home, took my uniform off, had dinner while watching my favorite YouTuber Allen Alien, completed math homework that would show up on tomorrow’s exam, checked Instagram which let me know that my parents were enjoying sightseeing during a business trip, and noticed the email.

Subject: Important Update

Body: You have been registered!

I immediately considered it spam or something and threw it in the trash.

The next morning, I went to school as usual and opened the math textbook to prepare for the exam. When I tried factorization, two of the students entered the classroom, excitedly saying, “I’ve been registered!”

“You? Me too!”

“Isn’t it very lucky we both were registered at the same time, is it?”

“Exactly!”

I wondered what they had been registered for just for a moment, but I quickly returned to factorization without thinking deeply.

That night, I checked Allen Alien as usual for updates. A new thumbnail had appeared, in which Allen dressed up as an ET-like Alien. The subject is,

“At last I have been REGISTERED!”

“Hmm?”

Registered. I remembered that the students said the same thing in school. And that email I received…

I opened my mailbox and searched the trash. That email still resided there.

I returned it to the inbox and reread it.

Subject: Important Update.

Body: You have been registered!

That’s all. Isn’t it spam? Maybe I have been registered? For what?

I played the Allen Alien video. ET-like Allen sat in front of a bookshelf with a mic on his desk, as usual. He started to talk, cheerfully,

“Hello everyone, see, I have been registered!”

I felt dizzy. Registered. Everyone has been registered. Ok, I got it. But for what? I had no clue what they had been registered for. Allen Alien continued to talk, stressing how much he had wanted to be registered, how envious he had felt of his friends who had already been registered, and how relieved he now felt. But he never mentioned what he had been registered for. Not a word.

I had a nightmare that day.

I felt a slight headache because of the nightmare, staggering to school.

“Hey! Are you ok?”

My best friend Eric struck my shoulder.

“Uhm… I could not sleep well last night.”

“Oh. Anxious for the next exam?”

“Ugh, um, yes.”

Eric and I walked side by side. After a while, Eric shouted as if he had just remembered,

“By the way, I have been registered!”

I almost went insane. I wondered which was insane, me or others. But the one who is here is my best friend. We have talked about almost anything since we were children. No secrets have existed between us. He would give me the answer.

“What have you been registered for?”

I was out of breath from uttering only six words.

Eric blinked his eyes as if he could not understand what I had said. A moment later, he poked my shoulder. “You kidding? Not funny.”

I lost all hope.

I was almost absent-mindedly in school.

That night, I did not feel like checking Allen Alien. Allen seemed like an alien in a different world. Or, is it me who tripped into another world? Now, they were all talking about that weird registration in the train, bookstore, and grocery store. No one talked about who, or what registered them. What is the registration? What will happen if they are registered? Is it good or bad? Maybe a good thing, guessing from people’s reactions…

“Oh.” I suddenly came up with the solution. Twitter! Search on Twitter! It is impossible that not only one of the hundreds of millions of users wonders what this registration is!

I typed in the search box. “what registered”

Enter.

“What a lucky man I am to get registered so soon!”

Maybe I chose the wrong keyword. I needed “for.”

“what registered for”

Enter.

“Get me registered, I will do whatever you want, for Christ’s sake!”

I swore at god.

Five years passed. The number of people who got registered grew rapidly. Now, they are talking about the registration everywhere. The TV station has constantly reported the current number of those who got registered. Professionals have discussed why some people have not been registered and offered tips on how to get registered. A thesis analyzed the geographic bias among registered people. Another thesis identified the age distribution. But no media, no book, and no thesis told the true identity of the registration. Who registered them? What would happen if they were registered? So far, I do not recognize any changes in my life. I graduated from high school and entered college. I take lectures every day. Fortunately, Eric and I are still good friends. We regularly exchange silly messages, updating each other on our lives. I dare not ask him about the registration again. Yes, everything is normal. Nothing terrible will happen to me. I didn’t realize anything. That is fine. That is fine…